Approximately 827,000 divorces happen every year in the United States.
Whether you’ve decided to get a divorce after being in quarantine in Rochester for the last few months or this has been coming for a while, it’s important to go into this stressful situation with a clear mind, a good plan, and a helpful support team.
Here are some great tips for getting through a stressful divorce:
Allow yourself time to mourn
One of the biggest mistakes people make during and after their divorce is thinking they aren’t allowed to mourn. That is completely untrue. Even if you were in a horrible marriage or you and your former spouse both wanted a divorce for a while, it’s still a major change in your life and you need to give yourself time to properly grieve and move on. It’s not going to happen overnight — and that’s okay.
Take a day off, grab some ice cream, put on a sad movie marathon, and let those emotions flow. It’s going to hurt. A lot. But doing this will actually help you move on and eventually you’ll start feeling much better.
Upgrade your home before you sell
It seems counterintuitive, but upgrading your home before you sell is a great idea when going through a divorce. This will help you keep your mind focused on something else other than entirely on your divorce. And, certain upgrades will lead to a much higher home value — so you’ll get a lot more money once you do finally sell.
Start with basic upgrades and then consider upgrading your home’s flooring. The U.S. flooring industry reported a growth of 3.85% in dollars and 3.2% in volume from last year. It’s better to get to these upgrades right away so you’re not stuck in your home in the months and years after your divorce. There are probably plenty of great memories, sure, but this house is only going to cause you more stress down the line. So revamp your home as much as you can, sell as quickly as you can, and move on!
Hire a professional divorce attorney
No one should have to go through a divorce by themselves. Divorce attorneys are knowledgeable on every aspect of marital law and can help you out every step of the way. Divorce court proceedings can be extremely stressful. Stenographers are typing more than 225 words per minute, people could be judging every move you make, and another intimidating attorney will likely be sitting next to your spouse. That would be intimidating for anyone. Divorce attorneys will help ease your nerves and put this stressful situation behind you.
Stop fighting with your ex
Perhaps your marriage was filled with countless nights of arguing and fighting. Now your divorce, it’s time to leave that part of your life in the past. There is a chance your ex will still be a part of your life, especially if you have children, but it’s unhealthy and unproductive to constantly fight with him or her.
“If you’re still fighting five or 10 years later, what I’ll frequently say to people is ‘you’re still married'” said Barbara Dydyk, clinical psychologist, family therapist, and the author of And They Lived Happily Never After? A Brief Survival Guide for Women Facing Separation and Divorce. “You talk about being separated but you’re married to each other through your anger.”
It’s time to move on and finally live a life free from arguments and horrible fights.
Again, divorce is an overwhelming situation and can be one of the most stressful events of your entire life. But with the right assistance and the right mindset, you’ll be able to move on and put that part of your life behind you. Good luck and stay strong!
